Tiffany Rambles

So, in yesterday's blog post, I promised myself that I'd start an idea booklet. Last night, no ideas would come to mind. I was confused and a little sad. Back in middle school, I easily had two notebooks full of ideas. Why wasn't anything coming to mind now (beside ideas linked directly to Savior of the Damned)?

Today all the ideas hit me.

I was walking to a financial aid meeting. The sky was big, blue, and beautiful, and my music blasted in my ears. Before I knew it, I couldn't stop the ideas from coming. All types of ideas too: A humorous fantasy, an off-kilter fantasy about the muse, a supernatural spin-off to SotD about necromancers, an alternate world horror/fantasy, a young adult coming-of-age comedy...

I found it odd that so many of my ideas were comedy, though not odd that so many were fantasy (I used to be a high fantasy writer before getting into horror and supernatural). I'm not really big on funny. Tragedy, yes. Comedy, no (not unless it's full of sarcasm and dark humor). Even more, I found it tragic that I was walking and going to a meeting, so I couldn't write it all down. They're in my notebook now. I'm gonna write the descriptions, in spite of the fact that the trade-off of writing these descriptions is pretty big, after I finish this post.

I've also been thinking a lot about short stories. I read lots of nonfiction and fiction, but I've read very few short story collections. In fact, I've only ever been determined to read short story collections by Stephen King. The next book I review, hopefully this weekend, will be Postcards from the Apocalypse by Allan Leverone. It's a short story collection, the second one I'll review (the first I reviewed was Florida Gothic Stories by Vicki Hendricks). Anyway, though I'm sure it'll be a wonderful read what with it being horror and all that jazz, I'll also be paying close attention to how the short story collection is put together. Plus, Allan guest appeared on Triple R a while ago, which makes me more excited that I've finally gotten to his stories.

I need to learn more about short stories and short story collections if I ever plan to take myself seriously when I say I want to self publish a collection. Even if it won't sell a hella lot of copies, or much at all (I'm having a hard time finding data about self published short story collections). Even though it will be very hard work. I want to try. I want to see what it's like to be part of the self-publishing world as much as I want to feel what it's like to be part of the brick-and-mortar publishing world.

P.S. On another note, very exciting things are happening to authors I've recently been keeping a close eye on. Amanda Hocking's Hollowland's series will become graphic novels! I've always fantasized that, if I ever get published, someone will want to do that for my work. Author Michelle Davidson Argyle had her first book signing for Monarch, and it appears as though it went very well. I really wish I could've come.

"Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It's quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn't at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that's where you will find success."
- Thomas J. Watson

I'm one of those people who thrive off of goals and to-do lists, off of any steps that bring me a little bit closer (or a lot closer) to my main goals. As a writer, it's the same. I apply a bunch of scenes and side quests that will bring my main character to the point of the story, the main plot. When I'm not applying myself to my limits, I get lost and worried. I feel like I'm falling far behind. In a sense, being goal-oriented is my way of fighting depression and anxiety and unease. I need to feel like I have a place in this world, however small that be. I need purpose.

Basically, I fight for success. My idea of success is a mixture of conventional ideals of success and my ideas. Before I die, I want to be a published author; I want to have a website or two capable of income with committed followers; I want to enter into many writing contests and actually win some of them; I want to get a Ph.D.; I've even grown into liking the idea of having a husband and a family at some point.
But fighting for success can be really overwhelming, and when there's a setback, boy does it really set me back. I have to take a considerable amount of time silencing all of the negative thoughts in my brain, telling myself loads of positive things.

So, what's the setback? Do you remember that playwriting contest I blogged about and when I said I won that? Well, I just got a message today from them saying I DIDN'T win. I've asked about it, but I'm certain it wasn't a mistake and that I really didn't win.

Sure, I'm only 18 and I can enter in many other contests, but the knowledge that I was a semi-finalist in the Ypip contest is what renewed my desire to pursue script and playwriting! I was really looking forward to the opportunity to travel to Indianopolis with my best friend and watch my first play get performed, but now that opportunity has been randomly snatched from under me.

It's saddening, but I know I can't waste time being saddened. To reassure myself that this doesn't make all of my writing endeavours a failure, I had to vow to try harder, to really get ahead in the writing world.

One day, you know; one day!

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On March 1, 2011, Rhemalda Publishing will either reject or accept my novel 'Savior of the Damned.' They are the first publishing house I've ever submitted to, and I respect Rhett, the man-in-charge, as well as all the authors. They've been extremely influential and helpful, and I'll still talk to them regularly even if I don't get accepted. Also, you should look at the unveiling of the covers for the upcoming titles! It really is beautiful and of such high caliber. In the meantime, while I wait for their answer, I'm working on other writing projects. To figure out what I'm doing in the informative, nonfiction realm, check out this post at Triple R: Read, Rate, Review. Below is very general info about what I'm doing in the realm of fiction. Except for the script idea, I hope to actually find a journal and make actual cash off of the two short stories! I'm very excited about this new step in writing. Right now, I'm in a free phase, and I suppose I'll be in a free phase for a while (free phase = everything I do in the writing world is to get my name out there. I'm not getting paid for my contributions.).

Title: Gap Year
Format: Script
Genre: YA; Romantic Comedy (Oh my god, two genres I equally suck at)
Summary: It's the summer before the odd, nerdy, interracial couple go off to college (I don't know their names yet, or that much about them but stereotypical terminology). They're both the epitome of outlandish, what with their interest in anime, books, web sensations, and foreign music. The female decides that she and her boyfriend should take off a gap year to do a bunch of stupid stuff that will inevitably bring them closer, like in romance books, and maybe actually do something educational to satisfy their parents. I want it to be an awkward type of humor with somewhat believable events and an actual point by the end, sorta like Juno.
Note: I plan on writing this during Script Frenzy in April, even though April is the busiest month for me (I have to perform a story at the Blue Island Public Library, Go to Indiana University Bloomington (IUB) for a campus visit mandatory for all Groups Scholars, compete for the Academic Super Bowl, and have most - if not all - of my registration stuff for IUB complete.) However, I feel it's important that I write my first true script through Script Frenzy, just like I wrote my first actual book through Nanowrimo. It really helps me out, to have all of that support and contest exhiliration.

Title: When Darkness Grows
Format: Short Story (The way it's going, it may be a novelette).
Genre: Horror
Summary: Sydney wakes up one morning and sees disgusting black goo that looks like black maggots when she squints above her window. At first, she wants to shrug it all off as insignificant, but, as time goes by, she realizes she can't just do that. Nate, an outlandish and compulsive reader of the Dark Intent Series, believes he can rid her of the Darkness. As the days go by, though, the goo keeps growing and Sydney realizes she is running out of time. Whatever happens when Darkness grows certainly can't be good.
Note: I'm very confident that, once I finish and edit this story, I can publish it in some journal or anthology. I really like the story! The characters always surprise me, and it's the type of psychological horror I pursue. The story happens within the span of five days. So far, I'm six pages in and starting on the second day. I can't wait until it's finished!

Title: No Fourth Wall
Format: Short Story
Genre: Horror
Summary: I only have a premise for this. Basically, what happens when a character in a story is fully aware she is in a story, that some author is writing the tale?
Note: I feel like this is a hard story to portray. I have to be careful with the point of view I choose, with how many characters, with the content and the ending. I once tried to start this story a year ago, but I got too lost in how I should deliver the tale, but I REALLY want to write this one.

In a previous post, I said that I would explain how I go about reviewing for Suspense Magazine. Well, I keep my word (even if it takes me ages to get back to the word that I kept). But, before that, I'd like to touch on the short story idea that's been brewing in my brain since last night two days ago.

Yes, the genre will be horror; no, I have not written anything down yet. lol. This stems from my fear of writing short stories.

The idea started because there is something odd and dark above my window, and I hadn't noticed it until two days ago. I started to ask myself all types of questions: What is it, exactly? Why did it start above my window? What if the dark stuff started claiming the room until it claimed the whole room? What if only I could see the dark stuff growing?

When I have the time, or whenever I make the time, I have a wonderful premise and vague set of plans. However, I've also accomplished making myself terrified of this room. Of course, the dark stuff hasn't grown, but I also can't get it off, and my eye always finds it. I still don't know what it is!

Now, about my process of reviewing for Suspense Mag. I have a big box of books that the editor has chosen, based on my preferences, to read and review. So far, I've reviewed about 5 books. Within the first 20 pages of a novel, no matter how big the novel is, I already have the whole review planned out and mostly written. When I actually finish the book, all I have to do is go back to the review and add in some stuff here and there.

How?

First off, a Suspense Magazine review is NOTHING like a Wall Street Journal review. Suspense Mag publishes reviews of a lot of books each issue (as well as movies). Because of that, the reviews are asked to be 3-4 paragraphs. There is not a set formulaic format, but this is the set formulaic format I follow:

1st paragraph: Always come up with a hook. Often, the hook corresponds directly to the story's start, but not always. As long as it's catchy and relevant, I use it.

2nd paragraph: Summarize the beginning of the book until it gets to the Big Question of the novel, which will undoubtedly show up within the first 20 pages. Don't say much past the Big Question. I want to make the readers excited to know what's next -- not spoil the plot.

3rd paragraph: I give my opinion of the story as a whole. I try to keep it nice. Even if I don't like the story, I keep two things in mind: 1.) Someone else is prone to like it; 2.) I don't want authors to hate me. lol. Generally, if there's something I don't like and can't get over, I just nicely mention it.

4th: Bring the Big Question back again, usually as a standalone sentence. Or bring forth something good or unique about the novel (The examples are actually from my reviews). Can you keep up with the God of Clocks?/ Now it's up to Madison. Can she help the real vampires stop the wannabees?/ This tale is as much about loss as it is about Mo and Andrea, his wife, reminding Frank that there is as much to look forward to as there is to look back at./ In a time where vampire books are all over the place, Wolf's Cross is not only a refreshing break, but an intriguing view of the werewolves' world.

Even though I can finish most of a review early on in the story, I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS finish the novel and really take it in. I feel it would be disrespectful to the author and Suspense Mag if I didn't.

Well, this blog post is already too long. Thanks for reading!

Before I start talking about how horrible my relationship with short story writing is, let me give you some important links and info. Tiffany Rambles is a merge of my The Adolescent Writer blog and my Savior of the Damned blog. Basically, all of the content at those sites will be here and vice versa. However, it's much easier to subscribe to posts here. Plus, blog spot has better looking blogs than Weebly. Don't expect the content here and there to differ by a lot, if it differs at all.

To sum me up: I'm a young, aspiring writer and a weird workaholic ready to be discovered (somewhat). I have a novel site and an author site, as well as a general writing forum that I am running with Kiana, my co-admin and friend. I've been in and out of the writing world -- though not any published venues apart from Suspense Mag and my old high school's newspaper -- for at least five years. Now I'm finally here to stay.

Yayzers! Introductions are over with (at least on my part. I don't like introductions. I can only paint a biased image of myself. I'd like to know who YOU are, though. Remind me that I am not just talking to myself, though there's certainly nothing wrong with that. Do it all the time! Wonderful part of writing!).

Anyway, I went off on a tangent. I do that....

Namely, I'm a novelist. In the 8th grade, to broaden my horizons, I attempted to write a short story in every genre. I threw all of those horrible short stories in the back of my closet, where a box full of horrible novellas are rotting away, and turned to one story out of that Practice Package: Savior of the Damned. What started off as an idea that I didn't like when I first wrote it became the novel I am soon hoping to publish and have been writing/rewriting/editing for five years.

Those short stories were horrible for a number of reasons. First off, some of them lacked passion. I required myself to write in every genre, including ones I hated and knew nothing about. Secondly, I couldn't write for crap. (I just censored myself there. Hm. Who is my audience? Do you care if I curse now and then? Does it matter either way?) There were grammatical and sentence structure errors galore. But the biggest reason I tossed them was because none of them actually ENDED. Every short story was written like the first chapter of a novel.

And the reason my tough love with short stories is relevant now? I have just finished the third draft of my novel and am in the process of sending it out to five beta readers/editors. I will give them two months to tear my novel apart. In those two months, I plan on taking free online creative writing classes. Then, I want to have a short story collection consisting of material I can actually send to magazines.

Short stories are not my strong point, but I will be working diligently in the next two months to turn that around. Tough love is a challenge. I like it!