Tiffany Rambles

You know what I've just realized? I always have one intense month. November 2011 and December 2010 come to mind immediately. Sure, months like that are very stressful, but they're always rewarding in the end.

This year, May 2012 is the stressful, rewarding month. I'm editing a self-help nonfiction book (one where I have less than two weeks to finish the edit, since he's publishing the book really soon) and critiquing a fiction novella. I'm also coaching a writer who wants my assistance on every aspect of the writing, promoting, and publishing process. I'm writing an eBook series too. It's tentatively titled The DIY Guide to Book Promotion and it will be a two book series dedicated to, well, cheap and/or free methods of promoting a book based off of my experiences with promotion. I need to finish The DIY Guide to Book Promotion: Before Publication this month so that, next month, I can finish the DIY Guide to Book Promotion: After Publication while the first book is being edited. The plan currently looks like this:

•  May: Finish Before Publication. Create new Honest Crits site using WordPress.
• June: Send Before Publication to beta readers. Finish After Publication.
• July: Send After Publication to beta readers. Create and integrate a promotion plan. Work on course. Finalize Before Publication (edit-wise).
• August: Finalize and publish After Publication and Before Publication before classes start.

 You see, when college starts, I am putting the business on hold until summer break. It's especially important I put the business on hold for college my freshman year. Why? Well, I haven't been in school for months, so I'll need to work hard just to get back into the groove of a lifestyle where school is in the center. Plus, I am known for getting overwhelmed. My first round of college absolutely depressed and frightened me. I didn't have my priorities straight at all. Added to that, I was on my own and lonely. This is take two for college, so I want to make sure I don't screw it up by trying to be both a dedicated, full-time entrepreneur and a dedicated, full-time student. Some people can do that. Kudos to them! I can not.

However, I don't want to completely put the business on hold. My editing and coaching services will definitely be closed. Those are very intensive and I refuse to half ass either due to inevitable school work and personal life stress. However, I will still review a book every week (except the first week of school and the week of finals). The eBooks and the course means that, in a static sense, the business will still be running even while I'm in school.

Now you know all the reasons why May 2012 is busy. Here's why it's so far the most rewarding month of my life: 1.) I love that I'm helping so many writers out. It makes me feel accomplished and professional. 2.) I've made more money this month than I made all 5 months working as a barista at Indiana University Bloomington's Campus Cafe. That blows my mind. By the end of this month I will have made about $1400. When I was a barista at IUB, it took me five months to make about $1300. $900 of that $1300 went right back to the university. I don't know if any other month will beat $1400 (or even make it to $1400. You know how much money I made last month? $61.00), so I'm cherishing it now. Most of the money is currently going into savings for a car. I can't wait!

Yep, that's the update on my life. Back to work I go. ^_^ Also, concerning the 10 hour vids below...they're not actually 10 hours. As in, the two songs don't last that long. It's just a 10 hour loop. You can very much watch and enjoy the two vids below without dedicating a day to them.

Memories are elusive. Even when I try to hold on to them, even when I look back and try to recall all the smells and words and images, they seem to slip away. Maybe it's because I'm a writer, but I see my life in chapters. I can hardly remember the time I lived in Chicago with my mother, nephews, nieces, and sisters. Those five years in Blue Island have already slipped away, so much so that when I go back to Blue Island (rarely), I feel like something is all wrong, like I'm interfering on a static setting that should be in my past and not in my present. I left Blue Island so abruptly that I'm still a little shell shocked about all the abandoned relationships and unspoken words. I'm as obsessed with 'proper endings' as I am with memories. Hell, those 6 or 7 months in Indiana University Bloomington, as hellish as they were, now seem as though they never happened.

There are so many more memories, so many more chapters. It's especially odd that I'm infatuated with the past because I'm just as infatuated with my future.

My obsession with memories and the mind's ability to hold on is very clear in Savior of the Damned, and it will be even clearer in later drafts (I plan on doing a better job showing that the first book is just as much about memories and escapism as it is about supernatural creatures).

In fact, I've learned more about myself from Savior of the Damned than I have from any time spent in a therapist's office. I learned that I despise escapism because, to a higher extent than I want to admit, I'm an escapist. Like Alecia, I have a bad habit of running from myself. I've second guessed my own emotions so much that sometimes I feel like I may have burned them out, but I know that's a lie. I know my emotions are much too strong and volatile to burn out, so, like Alecia, I attempt to mask them.

I've gotten better now, though. A loving relationship helps those things, but every now and then I'm afraid. Can I trust myself to not screw up?

Speaking of memories...for me, being in a reflective mood is synonymous with being in a 'Google Yourself' mood. So, how long have you been living on the internet? I've been here since 2004 (meaning since I was 13. I do remember being online when I was 12, but I'm not sure I can - or want to - find any proof of that). I didn't search my name. Instead, I searched all the usernames I can remember having. Here are the awesomesauce and lolwut things about my past, according to what I could find on Google:

Awesomesauce

Which Savior of the Damned Character are you?: I almost forgot about this quiz! You should take it. See which one of my characters you are.

10 Do's and Dont's of Writing: An article I wrote back when I was president of the Teen Advisory Board for the Blue Island Public Library. Considering I must have been either 15 or 16, I think it's a pretty good article.

Writer's Haven: This was not only the first successful forum I created (see the lolwut section for all the unsuccessful forums), but the first successful website. Creating this website got me on my high school's newspaper team as a freshman, even though freshmen weren't allowed on the team.

 Lolwut

The Warriors: A Proboards forum I made and abandonded in 2006. It huuuurrrrrtttts! I'm sure I have one or two more forums like this that also hurt, both grammatically and visually.

Ladywarrior12 Fanfiction Profile: I was 14. Fortunately, none of my fanfiction is up there anymore.

Roleplay Getaway: Another messed up forum, much like The Warriors. Once upon a time, I used to be big on roleplaying on forums.

Yes, it's true. This is my personal blog, so I honestly don't care if telling you about my monetary situation is in bad taste. I'm not even an adult on my own yet and bills are already killing me. This whole starving artist crap is really starting to get to me, that's for sure. I can't afford my phone bill. I can barely afford to see a CPA for my business and pay my monthly Aweber newsletter bill. I would love to buy a printer/fax machine/copier/scanner, but I know I won't be able to buy it for a while. Hell, more importantly, I need to find out how I'm supposed to pay for college and a car.

I'm trying to be a trooper about this, but it is so very hard to get a part-time job (and I'm applying everywhere. I used to have 'standards,' like I thought I would never apply to McDonald's, but now I don't care) and a stready stream of clients.

What I like the least about this starving artist thing, beside not having any money, is just that it's starting to feel like I'm doing things more and more out of a desperation for money.

Now, now, I'm not saying that I do things for money. In the business of writing and editing, that sounds greedy and like I'm undervaluing the services, but I'm not. I promise. I love editing and writing and reading and promoting. I do those things because I do them best and because they make me happy. But I really do need to start making some more money soon, somewhere, someway (legally).

On another note, my mind is still a story factory. It sucks all around that I haven't been writing fiction. I've been writing plenty of self-help nonfiction, yes, and I do enjoy it because I enjoy the idea of helping other fellow writers, but fiction is a totally different game. From the minute I wake up to the minute I sleep, stories play out in my head. Characters, new and old, talk to me. I smile at scenes as though they were memories. I zone out and cease to exist as nothing but a storyteller.

So, basically, right now I'm a 'poser' writer, but I at least wanted to make it clear that I have NOT given up. Here's a hilarious song and a depressing song. Enjoy!

You know, sometimes you just have one of those days where damn near everything that can go wrong seems to go wrong. Take today, for instance...

• My laptop got a virus. I don't know how. All I know is that it happened super fast and threw me off guard. I generally take good care of my electronics. Hell, I'm one of those snobs who don't understand how anyone could let their computers become virus infested with so many free, wonderful opportunities like Microsoft Security Essentials, AVG, Adblocker and CCleaner when, in actuality, they just may not be aware of those services. The fact that someone has a virus infested computer shouldn't lead to an assumption about their personality. Anyway, my laptop got a virus and wouldn't turn on for about five minutes. I rage cried and realized that if I had to buy a new laptop, that'd take all my car savings. However, my computer performed a basic recovery and everything is working fine now...except I no longer have my music, documents, pictures, or favorites. Thousands and thousands of stuff I loved was lost. Fortunately, I'm an e-mail hoarder and could save some of the stuff I lost (for instance, a whole draft of my novel Savior of the Damned and the books I need to review), but that's the price I should pay for not being smart enough to back my shit up ages ago.
• My phone froze and blacked out on me right as a potential client messaged me on Twitter to say that they were considering my editing services. I had to completely take the battery out.
• My Kindle would not let me type a status on Facebook. I'd hit the letters and numbers on my touch screen and nothing would happen at all.

Mind you, all of those things happened back-to-back. However, after all of that, I'm still hopeful. I have Matthew (our one year anniversary was yesterday) and my business stats are steadily progressing (my Alexa stats are finally in the hundred thousands instead of the millions, I have 10 subscribers to my newsletter, and I have 60+ page likes).

Today I'm writing for five hours - one hour each for this blog, Reader's Den, my marketing book, scholarships/contests, and Cracked (oh yeah, I'm now a writer for Cracked! It's like a dream come true. My firsy paying gig) - and I'm actually very excited! It's been a while since I just sat down like this and created content.

Hopefully, my next post will be a continuation of my Cool Things about the Internet series. Maybe I'll talk about Googling yourself or maybe I'll talk about TV Tropes. TV Tropes sounds more appealing though.

Anyway, heres an amusing vid (so much passion!) and a song I currently really like (I don't know why).

I had a weird dream/nightmare last night. Half of it took place in my room, and the other half took place on a boat. See, I don't like boats and, at least to my knowledge, nor does anyone in my family. I can't swim all too well, and the idea of being surrounded by loads of water scares me for the same reason that being surrounded by the sky does (yknow, airplanes) - the uncertainty, the knowledge that everything surrounding me is huge enough to swallow me whole.

I don't really remember the half that took place in my room, 'cept that half was less interesting than the water half anyway and was probably just about the problems I'm having with my family. In the water half of the dream, I had a cousin who lived on a boat and all my family was there for...some reason. There was a window on the boat where, if you looked from a certain angle, the clouds would spiral open and reveal the kingdom of heaven. When approaching the window, the image of heaven would shift into a mass of destroyed boats covered with dead bodies.

I...don't know what that's about. Maybe the boat is like that boat/yacht from Triangle and trying to approach heaven from ze magical boat is a fool's errand?

Nearing the end of the dream, I separated from the family to write and read. This is something I often do at family events. I just can't help it. Like my nightmare was scripted by a bunch of horror writers, me separating from everyone trapped me in an area where the only way I could escape was jumping into all that damn water. I turned back. No door. No walls. I was on a raft, and all I could do was jump.

So I sissied out and woke up in a deep sweat instead.

This dream probably means that I'm holding back and I need to learn how to jump into the unknown or some shit like that. Or maybe I just need to learn how to swim? Ah, probably.

Now that I'm done sharing that dream (I just had to. That image of the clouds spiraling apart to reveal a bright image of heaven was just...wow, beautiful. I can't get it out of my mind, and I'm not even religous, though I'm not an atheist either. It's like that time me and Matthew were lying on his floor after wrestling and the light from his window shined on his face at just the right moment to make him glow. Jeez, I was mesmerized like a total spazz), it's time to talk about other things. Like, more professional things. Let me switch back to my professional voice and get out of this foul-mouthed vernacular that I hide for...whatever reason.

I am going to self-publish a how-to guide on marketing for writers. It won't be the absolute everything guide on marketing. Instead, it'll be a guide of al the things I've learned and tried over the years. I realized I had a lot to say about marketing and promotion when I wrote 'Market Your Book Without Emptying Your Bank Account' for Rhemalda's blog.

Now, I know I said I was publishing a workbook for writers, a checklist of sorts, on my 'Support Honest Crits' page. After summarizing the marketing book and the workbook, I realized that the workbook would take me muuuuuch longer to write and research than the marketing book, and I want the book published in 3 months. The sales from this book will go to the business and my education, but I only have five months to at least figure out how I'll get the semester out of the way.

Here I am, switching gears again. Have you heard of that Lucky 7 meme? Well, here are the rules:

The Lucky 7 Meme Rules• Go to page 77 of your current MS/WIP
• Go to line 7
• Copy down the next 7 lines--sentences or paragraphs--and post them as they're written. No cheating.

Because my story is separated by chapter numbers and not in one full document, I don't know what page 77 is. Instead of going to page 77, I went to chapter 7 of Savior of the Damned's 4th edit. Here are the next 7 lines after line 7.:

The blinding white light at the top was always out of reach. The steps were disintegrating faster than I could run. If someone didn't acknowledge my screams for help, I would fall.

My mom, almost angelic in image, appeared in the doorway. I grabbed tight hold of her hand. Afterward, the basement became a replica of hell, with fire everywhere and monster hands dancing around a colossal hand with a mouth instead of an eye.

"Mom, you can help me up now."

"Shut up you demon spawn."

And here it is from the original draft, the one I wrote when I was a freshman in high school:

When I first met him he gave the impression of being a very talkative person, but, then again, second expressions are seldom exactly like the first.

Augustine’s footsteps stopped, and mines stopped shortly after his. We were now at the door to the house. My mind was still blank. I found I couldn’t make myself think. Why couldn’t I make myself think about anything? It was just...fog.

Augustine began to talk. “Levi Haze, if you’re eating then”—

“I am not,” he interrupted. “You know I’m not. Now bring her in already. I already told you how important this was.”

If you made it all the way to the end of this loooong past, here's a congratulations for you. This video just cracks me up. Here's the explanation, explained courtesy of good old TV Tropes:


And here's a song I really like.



February 2012 - the most active month for Honest Crits/Reader's Den

A couple of days ago, I finished reading a great book for writers and small business owners called "Business Tips and Taxes for Writers." The section on record keeping talked about spreadsheets and the importance of consistently recording a business's finances. At first, I was a bit bleh about this method of record keeping. I'd never used a spreadsheet before.

But, when I stayed up until 2 AM recording my income and expenses for Honest Crits, I learned that I loved spreadsheets and seeing exactly where the money from and for Honest Crits/Reader's Den goes. As of lately, most of the money has been going to my office and research, and more people pay for the Promotion Plan than anything else. Of course, this all makes sense. My business is not at a point where I'm actually making any profit. The money I make from the business goes to the business. Pretty soon, though, the money I make from the business will go toward college as well.

I have five months to figure out how I'm supposed to pay for college. All four years is about 28,000, so one year is roughly 7k. I already have 800 (which is really only enough money to pay for one class and a half -_-). When I went to IUB for the summer and the first semester, I worked my ass off and did almost 2 scholarships a week for months. I won enough money to pay off the first year and parts of the other 4 years. Because of a scholarship mix-up, I still ended up having to take out a $2500 loan to pay off the first year. Already, I have loan money that is building interest.

So this is the plan that I've come up with to help pay for college: Sure, little-by-little, I'm making more money with my business. But I could be making more. I need to change my editing prices; I need to better promote my websites so that I can offer advertising; I need to enter into more writing contests and freelance for paying markets; I want to self-publish a helpful book for writers; I want to make a donation page.

It'll be stressful, I know, but the best way to push myself is to push myself. If I tell myself that the money I make with my business will help pay for college, at least the first year and a half, then I'll have even more incentive to work harder. Whatever doesn't get paid for with business or scholarship money will have to be paid for with loans (ick). Because I have to spend these next five months working specifically on Honest Crits and Reader's Den (when college starts, most of my Honest Crits services won't be open. I don't want to make college even harder on myself), I'm officially taking a break from working on my novels.

So, what'll I be doing in college? I plan on getting a Bachelor of Arts in Human Resources and minoring in English: Writing. A B.A. is perfect for me. There's not much math and science, and getting into the business school at Purdue University Calumet is nowhere near as hardcore as getting into the business school at Indiana University Bloomington. If you fit the qualifications, you get in.

Yep, that's all.

Okay, so the Snowflake Method isn't new. I first learned about it about six or seven years ago, when I was big on writing high fantasy and found the idea of planning a whole story and world very overwhelming (I found it overwhelming in the seventh grade and I still find it overwhelming as a freshman in college, which is why I've put all my high fantasy stories in a dusty box in the back of my closet).

I still remember preteen me sitting on the floor, filling page-after-page of my flimsy notebook with notes on the plot and characterization. I actually finished all of the steps. Unfortunately, preteen me abandoned that story when she realized she loved horror and wanted to delve into stories about the supernatural world.

Still, I never forgot about the Snowflake Method. It was a lot of fun to do and very insightful. Now, years later, young adult me is using it again - this time for a story I've already written and rewritten about five times (Savior of the Damned) and a brand new story I haven't started on yet (Dream Catcher). The snowflake method is helpful for both stories you've already written and stories you plan to write.

For instance, I really struggled with Step 2 of the method for Savior of the Damned. I realized the middle of my story didn't really have a defined act, a second major disaster. And, while it's okay that not all stories follow the three-act structure, I realized adding a major disaster in the middle - emotional disasters, as of now - would only enhance the plot overall. Had I not done the Snowflake Method just because I've already finished SotD, I may have never come to that conclusion.

Plus, me and the boyfriend brainstormed a wonderful one-sentence series summary and first book summary.

Series Summary: The Savior of the Damned leads supernatural creatures in a war against an all-powerful demon.

Book One Summary: An ex-drug addict travels within her mind to clear inner demons and become a goddess.

Now, about this info overload and consistency stuff. For me, they go hand-in-hand. When the year started, I made a big deal about unsubscribing to a bunch of newsletters and blogs. So I did. And, three months in, I've started subscribing to stuff again. People, this is a problem. I think I'm an info junkie. And I think there's a thin line between an info junkie and a procrastinator.

What doesn't help matters is that, instead of checking my e-mails once a week, I've instead decided to check 25 e-mails a day. 25 e-mails when each of those 25 e-mails are FULL of 5+ articles on writing, blogging, marketing, and editing is way too much info for everyday, definitely when you consider I'm also reading many more articles and blogs outside of my e-mails.

There's a such thing as trying to cram too much knowledge into your mind. It's overwhelming. Writing after reading all of those articles is much more stressful because all the things I've just learned are fresh on my mind, bothering me while I'm in the middle of writing a sentence. Then consistency is ruined. I find myself constantly wanting to keep up with these articles and posts, but there's just too many.

Because I'm a coach and an editor, it's great that I keep tabs on the writing world, but there needs to be a limit for both the sake of my sanity and my productivity. So I think I'll need to go back to checking e-mails once a week or once every two weeks.

Now I leave you with the first episode of Charlie the Unicorn and the song playing on my playlist as of now.