Tiffany Rambles

"Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It's quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn't at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that's where you will find success."
- Thomas J. Watson

I'm one of those people who thrive off of goals and to-do lists, off of any steps that bring me a little bit closer (or a lot closer) to my main goals. As a writer, it's the same. I apply a bunch of scenes and side quests that will bring my main character to the point of the story, the main plot. When I'm not applying myself to my limits, I get lost and worried. I feel like I'm falling far behind. In a sense, being goal-oriented is my way of fighting depression and anxiety and unease. I need to feel like I have a place in this world, however small that be. I need purpose.

Basically, I fight for success. My idea of success is a mixture of conventional ideals of success and my ideas. Before I die, I want to be a published author; I want to have a website or two capable of income with committed followers; I want to enter into many writing contests and actually win some of them; I want to get a Ph.D.; I've even grown into liking the idea of having a husband and a family at some point.
But fighting for success can be really overwhelming, and when there's a setback, boy does it really set me back. I have to take a considerable amount of time silencing all of the negative thoughts in my brain, telling myself loads of positive things.

So, what's the setback? Do you remember that playwriting contest I blogged about and when I said I won that? Well, I just got a message today from them saying I DIDN'T win. I've asked about it, but I'm certain it wasn't a mistake and that I really didn't win.

Sure, I'm only 18 and I can enter in many other contests, but the knowledge that I was a semi-finalist in the Ypip contest is what renewed my desire to pursue script and playwriting! I was really looking forward to the opportunity to travel to Indianopolis with my best friend and watch my first play get performed, but now that opportunity has been randomly snatched from under me.

It's saddening, but I know I can't waste time being saddened. To reassure myself that this doesn't make all of my writing endeavours a failure, I had to vow to try harder, to really get ahead in the writing world.

One day, you know; one day!