Tiffany Rambles

Maybe it's because I'm a horror junkie, and I surround myself with horror, but these past few days have felt like a battle between my fears and my sanity. Not that there's anything wrong or unusual about that. I feel like fear is important to the human species. In my opinion, almost everything is a matter of balance.

Outside of writing, what keeps me running is money and relationships. I owe the library 45 dollars. I didn't have enough money to pay at first, but now I DEFINITELY don't have enough. I looked in my purse and found that I only had five dollars left. Either I blanked out and forgot where I put my money, or someone went in my purse and took it. I'm quite certain it was stolen, though. And my fears with relationships is a loooong story in itself, one that I don't think you will really care to hear about. In all, I feel romantically inept, and a little bit socially inept.

But this blog isn't about me, per se. It's about writing. Before I get into my fears with SotD, I'd like to highlight this beautiful trailer for Suspense Mag. One of these days, I hope to have an emotional and well done trailer like this for my novel:

I don't know how to make the video show here yet, so here is a link. Watch and enjoy!

People will hate it:

I know all about target audiences. I know that everyone will not like my work, no matter how good it is, because we all have different preferences. Still, my fear is that NO ONE will like it. My fear is that everyone will look upon it with disdain. They will think my writing style is undeveloped and crappy. They will laugh at my plot -- the very plot I have lovingly and thoroughly developed for five years. I know this fear is irrational. I put the first two drafts of SotD on Fictionpress, and it was recieved very well by some people. Still, the fear persists.

My family won't support it:

I don't want to make a big deal out of writing something my whole family will enjoy for the same reason why I don't make a big deal out of everyone in the world liking my story. It can't be done. I'm just afraid that my family will...shun me for some of the content. SotD can be pretty dark, explicit, and gothic at times. There are quite a few religious people in my family who I know, for sure, will look down on it. My family loves me, and I love them, but I've always wondered: How do author's cope when family doesn't accept their stuff?

It won't sell:

Yes, I write because it is a passion. Yes, I write because I feel as though it is the one thing I do the best, the one thing I can never stop doing. I know that a writer should never look at the profession as a means of putting food on the table, definitely in the beginning stages. But writers get published to be read, and what's the point of getting published if no one reads or buys your stuff? This also ties in to the fear that the supernatural genre will die out before I get published. (I talk about that here.).

I think my fears are very normal for an aspiring writer, definitely for an aspiring hormonally-confused-teenage-female writer. Don't get me wrong. I have faith in my writing. I honestly have more confidence that I can become better at writing than I have in any other aspect of my life. I'm not confident that I can become smarter, prettier, more well known, but I AM confident that I can improve my writing.

What are some of your fears, both with writing and outside of it?