Tiffany Rambles

Thanks to the inspiration I'm getting from J.S. Chancellor, Michelle Davidson Argyle, Tim Burton, Neil Gaiman, and - most recently - Johnny Depp, I've been high in the clouds.

Whenever I read a blog post from Chancellor or Argyle or Neil Gaiman, I'm reminded of where hard work can get a dedicated writer and that it's not all entirely out of reach. Whenever I watch a movie Johnny Depp is acting in or Tim Burton is directing, I am reminded of why I love and write in the dark/horror genre.

When I saw Sweeney Todd in choir class yesterday, I walked out of there with a big, goofy smile on my face and I thought, "THIS is why I write! To make readers feel the way I feel about my story, about my characters, about the atmosphere, about the passion." If I can do that for one reader, just ONE, my life will be as complete as it would be if I could get Neil Gaiman to say hullo to me. lol.

Because I am reminded of why I write, I go about my daily goals with much more passion and direction, and its working wonders for my writing. These days, I can't stop writing. Sometimes all this passion feels silly, but I want to take advantage of it before being overwhelmed steps in again.

God, I'm such a romantic! When I'm singing, when I'm writing, when I'm reading, when I'm listening, when I'm imagining,when I'm acting....life feels entirely worth living. Sometimes I'm nervous or lonely or distressed, but I'm mostly happy and thrilled and anxious and passionate all at the same time. I think all those emotions go hand in hand for a creative person anyway.

These days, I'm mostly content and willing to work towards reaching my goals. And it's the best feeling ever.

<<< That guy is Neil Gaiman, the first person I've ever been this much of a fan over. I'm serious. I'm often fangirl spazzing over characters, but hardly people. I think Stephen King is a close second. >>>

Anyway, I am going to be totally uncreative and give you a list of why today is so good, and then I will give a very short list of what may tamper my happiness.

• I laughed and smiled and ate alot of junk food in school and got away with wearing jeans the whole day.
• I finished Chapter 2: Home Sweet Home, and I think I accomplished removing the slow, boring bits that made me self-conscious of my writing. Four important conversations were had. My main character now has the biggest migraine (incidentally, so do I, but more on that later.) The Big Bad called and said, "I know exactly what the future brings for us, and I'm anxious with excitement. It finally all begins. Child, you're in for one hell of a ride." And, incidentally, I was also anxious with excitement...even though I've rewritten this story 6 times in five years and know everything in store. I felt like I was in for one hell of a ride too - not just with writing this again, but with reading it again. I spend some nights talking myself into depression about my writing skill, but I AM telling the story I've always dreamed of reading, and hopefully it's the same for someone else too. That's what really matters, how freaking passionate I am about Savior of the Damned.
• I finished the first of ten scholarships I'm going to be completing these next two weeks. Because of these scholarships, I've taken novel writing out of my schedule. Fortunately, my classes are so easy that I can write during class. This will all change in college, when I go back to serious nerd mood, which is why I'm taking advantage of it now. Anyway, I'll print and finalize everything tomorrow and send it off.
• Things on Triple R are still slow, but I feel the site is at least improving some, and it's forcing me to challenge myself in ways I never would have before. Actually doing author interviews and agreeing to review short story collections and a nonfiction book? For me, that's conquering silly fears of mine that will undoubtedly get me one step closer to my dreams in writing.

The One Bad Thing That May Tamper My Happiness, But I'll Try My Hardest Not To Let It:

• Oh my god, this throbbing in my head is only getting more persistant! I know this is gonna sound silly, but I swear my body is connected to my story. >.< Yesterday I felt really empty and surreal after writing a chapter about my character feeling empty and surreal. Today I have a massive headache after finishing a chapter that ends with my main character having a massive headache. And trust me, there have been more coincidences throughout the years.

That is all! Also, not that you asked, but WHY am I such a fangirl of Neil Gaiman? I read his blog and love his humor and feel connected to him, like I've known him my whole life even though I've been fairly unsuccessful at even getting him to say hi. He started young with book reviews and articles, just like I am, and he gives me even more of a reason to improve at writing. One day, I just want to be in a position to say hullo to him from one writer to another and that is all, and there's this largely childish girl in my heart who writes all my stories and believes that becoming a published author will give me that opportunity.

I've been doing a lot lately, mostly when it comes to writing/networking/college, so I've got to be more careful not to step on the surprise shell that will totally shut me down. This has happened before, and it usually shows when I keep getting tired. However, telling me to stop will just fall on deaf ears, I assure you. lol.

Right after I post this, I'm gonna check out Neil Gaiman's blog and Amanda Hocking's blog and then dozens of more blogs. Every now and then, I randomly do a blog roll, which is where I list all the blogs of people I regularly talk to and comment on their recent posts. If something comes across as particularly helpful, I'll go into psycho marketing/networking mode and start advertising the link everywhere. I am on TEN social networking/bookmarking sites, but I'm still working on gaining a presence. Now regularly posting on those sites can easily get tiring. I need to balance that out the most.

I'm hoping to start pitching some articles to Best Damn Creative Writing Blog (BDCWB) soon and write out more reviews, in the hopes that more of them will make the cut for another issue of Suspense Magazine. I love seeing my name in print. Gives me a rush only rivalled by soda and chocolate and sleep. Which reminds me...

Pitching articles and entering into Script Frenzy and writing a story for a storytelling event I'll participate in and networking and college scholarship essays and editing other people's stuff and writing book reviews and hoping hoping hoping my dropping of the Academic Honors Diploma doesn't get me rejected from Indiana University Bloomington after I spent so long dreaming of escapism means that I will most likely have to give myself much less time to work on my novel. I've been outlining Chapter 2: Home Sweet Home for days now. It saddens me a bit, but I understand how trade-offs work.

I'm not upset. I do, indeed, feel like I'm getting ahead in some way or another, but I AM getting tired.

P.S. I WANT THIS BUSINESS CARD!

During class, when I started to list the things I wanted to talk about on Tiffany Rambles, nothing came to mind. I stared at my one flimsy sentence and realized that I was probably gonna have to create some type of failproof-blog-topics-idea system. However, it only took a minute or so for the thoughts to start pouring out. Now this blog post will contain a multitude of thoughts - ones that don't correlate to the thought before, but I'll try - fit for my personal blog and not for my reviewing one.

My staring-at-flimsy-sentences-and-smelling-DOOM-syndrome also comes forth when I write. Not all the time, but it certainly does. Fortunately, the same thing from above happens: a multitude of paragraphs follow, and I have to connect them, and suddenly there's a chapter! Anyway, this is a long-winded way of me saying that I'd like to talk about where I'm at with my story, Savior of the Damned. If you keep up with my blog, you know that Rhemalda Publishing offered to see a full manuscript after some edits have been done. That's what I've been doing. The ideas quickly followed, and I realized that, if I wanted to deepen characterization, I'd have to add a few more chapters, remove a few, and greatly alter others. It's daunting, yes, but I'm EXTREMELY happy to know I can get lost in my story world again. I'm almost done with Chapter 1: Home Sweet Home...I think. >.< It's like more stuff keeps happening that I hadn't mentally prepared for. lol.

Since we're on the topic of writing and DOOM (this is the entirety of my mind, likeforserious), I'd like to randomly toss out there that this is also scholarship month for me. Meaning that, from March 14-28, I'll be writing loads of essays for loads of scholarships. I've won two, but I need more moneyz, so back to essay topics that are basically just the same questions rephrased. How will I balance this with novel writing and book reviews and school essays? I'll make it happen, but I think a writing burnout will occur. Let's hope not; those suck.

So, I love love love Neil Gaiman. How does this apply to anything I've said? Well, I'm an aspiring writer and he was an aspiring writer at one point, so there! Mostly, I find him to be extremely inspirational. He is living the life that I dream about all day and all night, even though I'm aware of how stressful it can be. 3-4 years ago, I attempted to read all of his blog posts. I gave up only because I had parental controls back then and some of his posts had cursing words. I HATED having to skip a post, so I just stopped reading them. Now that I'm 18 and have no computer restrictions, I can finally finish my venture. His blog is 10 years old. Will that stop me? Nope. When I was in the 8th grade, I told the public librarian that I would read every single one of the fantasy books on the top shelf. It was a loooong top shelf. She gave me a funny look. Did that stop me? Nope. I gave her what I hoped was a funny look back and dedicated that whole month to completing that.

Wow, oh wow, do I go off on tangents. >.< (Also, having been in an honors Trigonometry class, I hate the word tangent).