Tiffany Rambles

Okay, so the Snowflake Method isn't new. I first learned about it about six or seven years ago, when I was big on writing high fantasy and found the idea of planning a whole story and world very overwhelming (I found it overwhelming in the seventh grade and I still find it overwhelming as a freshman in college, which is why I've put all my high fantasy stories in a dusty box in the back of my closet).

I still remember preteen me sitting on the floor, filling page-after-page of my flimsy notebook with notes on the plot and characterization. I actually finished all of the steps. Unfortunately, preteen me abandoned that story when she realized she loved horror and wanted to delve into stories about the supernatural world.

Still, I never forgot about the Snowflake Method. It was a lot of fun to do and very insightful. Now, years later, young adult me is using it again - this time for a story I've already written and rewritten about five times (Savior of the Damned) and a brand new story I haven't started on yet (Dream Catcher). The snowflake method is helpful for both stories you've already written and stories you plan to write.

For instance, I really struggled with Step 2 of the method for Savior of the Damned. I realized the middle of my story didn't really have a defined act, a second major disaster. And, while it's okay that not all stories follow the three-act structure, I realized adding a major disaster in the middle - emotional disasters, as of now - would only enhance the plot overall. Had I not done the Snowflake Method just because I've already finished SotD, I may have never come to that conclusion.

Plus, me and the boyfriend brainstormed a wonderful one-sentence series summary and first book summary.

Series Summary: The Savior of the Damned leads supernatural creatures in a war against an all-powerful demon.

Book One Summary: An ex-drug addict travels within her mind to clear inner demons and become a goddess.

Now, about this info overload and consistency stuff. For me, they go hand-in-hand. When the year started, I made a big deal about unsubscribing to a bunch of newsletters and blogs. So I did. And, three months in, I've started subscribing to stuff again. People, this is a problem. I think I'm an info junkie. And I think there's a thin line between an info junkie and a procrastinator.

What doesn't help matters is that, instead of checking my e-mails once a week, I've instead decided to check 25 e-mails a day. 25 e-mails when each of those 25 e-mails are FULL of 5+ articles on writing, blogging, marketing, and editing is way too much info for everyday, definitely when you consider I'm also reading many more articles and blogs outside of my e-mails.

There's a such thing as trying to cram too much knowledge into your mind. It's overwhelming. Writing after reading all of those articles is much more stressful because all the things I've just learned are fresh on my mind, bothering me while I'm in the middle of writing a sentence. Then consistency is ruined. I find myself constantly wanting to keep up with these articles and posts, but there's just too many.

Because I'm a coach and an editor, it's great that I keep tabs on the writing world, but there needs to be a limit for both the sake of my sanity and my productivity. So I think I'll need to go back to checking e-mails once a week or once every two weeks.

Now I leave you with the first episode of Charlie the Unicorn and the song playing on my playlist as of now.

If I didn't clear through my e-mails everyday, I'd have hundreds of messages to check. No, it isn't due to spam, but very few of those e-mails are directly from an individual. I generally turn to Facebook when I want to talk to someone.

See, my problem is that I'm a spontaneous subscriber. I'm subscribed to dozens of blogs and websites, some of which I've later regretted signing up for. However, apart from the blogs I keep up with because they inspire me (The Innocent Flower, Amanda Hocking, Welcome to the Asylum, Neil Gaiman, etc.), there are exactly seven sites I would recommend any writer subscribe to - not only because they are all free, but because they are all wonderful, consistent resources brimming with vital information about the writing world:

1.) Writer's Digest: I feel like Writer's Digest, a magazine that always has many wonderful articles, speaks for itself. Unfortunately, I can't afford to subscribe to the magazine, but I don't mind getting the newsletter in my e-mail every week as a smaller replacement. There are always 5+ articles on varying topics.

2.) Social Media Examiner: This is one of my absolute most favorite newsletters. Need help understanding software? Want to know about new innovations across the social networking world? Want to watch interviews from top marketing people? This site has those things and so much more.

3.) FundsForWriters: This newsletter has been named one of the 101 Best Websites for Writers by Writer's Digest every year since 2001, and it's definitely earned such an award. There are always two articles - one from the creator Hope Clark and one from a guest. As far as the extremely helpful content go, there are links to competitions, jobs, grants, and publishers/agents.

4.) Fiction Notes: It's a bit hard to describe this one. Though the design is always the same, each newsletter is slightly different. Sometimes there are two articles in a newsletter. Sometimes there is one long one or one short one. What I like most about this newsletter is that it DOESN'T bombard me with a gazillion other articles to read. Don't get me wrong; I love that the other sites above give me a lot to choose from. However, Fiction Notes keeps it nice and simple when my e-mail world is so often very complex and time consuming.

5.) Worldwide Freelance Writing: This is a great resource for all the freelancers out there. Similar to FundsForWriters, it has an editor's thoughts article and a featured article. Afterward, it gives links to ebooks for writers and writing markets, as well as news about what's going on in the writing world.

6.) Advanced Fiction Writing E-Zine: I've been subscribed to this for years, ever since I discovered his wonderful Snowflake Method. Generally, there are three articles in this E-zine. They often thoroughly touch on marketing and writing craft.

7.) Publish Your Own Ebooks: This is one of my newer subscriptions. I'm still getting accustomed to this one. However, it does contain a good amount of info on how to navigate around the ebook world, a venture I will later take on.

Yesterday, me and my boyfriend were talking about the pros and cons of longhand writing and typing. Here's the text message I sent:

I do understand why so many dont [longhand write]. Its messy, and in a world of technology where you'll have to type it anyway, it seems silly. (2/3) But i love writing with paper. i love the scratch outs, the margin notes, the arrows, the stains. I love having to take hours typing 15 pages. Why? It (3/3) forces me to read it again and i always catch errors that way. Why isnt this a blog post at rambles? Tomorrow it will be.

Today is the tomorrow in that text. On Facebook, I put up a status asking if anyone prefers to write on paper instead of type, and all of the 8-10 writers who answered said that they preferred typing. There I was, the youngest writer in the discussion, and I preferred hoarding loads of notebooks and pens to write my story over using cleverly awesome apps and technology. With Dream Catcher, I tried to do the whole typing first thing, but it didn't work. I couldn't do it. And in this post I'll try and explain my attachment to longhand.

First off, though, I am NOT writing this post to argue that my way of writing is superior to the other. That's silly. People should write how they see fit.

• Recognition with family and friends: Each of my notebooks has the title of my book on it in big letters. When people I know see me taking my pen out and opening that notebook, it's like they instantly know I'm writing and need to be left alone. But when I bring out my laptop, even if I say I'm working on my novel, they seem a little suspect that I actually am doing such a thing.
• Less Distractions: Writers are notoriously good at finding distractions regardless, but I don't get distracted as easily when I'm just listening to music and huddled in a corner somewhere staring at my notebook. With the computer, even when I try to restrict myself, the internet calls to me.
• Can easily refer back: When I get furious with a sentence or even a whole page of writing, I put a small line through the sentence or a big X over the whole page, but I often find that the very same things I once decided was bad could very easily be used later on. However, when typing, I press delete and lose all of that.
• Fun with margins, stains, arrows, etc.: My story notebooks are highly amusing. There are all type of crazy things in the margins that, when I look back on them now, I have no idea why the hell I wrote them. So many notes to myself, so many suggestions, so many random sentences. Since I take the notebook with me everywhere, there are mystery stains I try to decipher later. And then the arrows! My paragraphs are often written terribly out of order, so I have to use arrows and numbers to make it flow. It's like a puzzle!
• I'll have to type it: Yes, this is often frustrating. If I've written over 5 pages, and I very often do, it will take me hours to type it all up. But in those hours, I'm forced to reread everything I've written, and all types of errors jump out at me that way.

So, do you prefer to write or to type? It'd be wonderful if someone did a post in response to this, but explaining why they prefer typing.

The first graph comes from Hootsuite, the second one from bit.ly. They are both free services, but of course you can choose to purchase more advanced versions. I don't use them as often and as consistently as I should to get a general idea about my site, but I really should take them more seriously.  Under each picture, I'll explain what the graph is showing.

Hootsuite

Bit.ly Bit.ly is my favorite. The graph above shows me getting 41 clicks on the shortened link to my blog post "How (NOT) to Survive Nanowrimo." The 41 clicks, which is unusual for me, happened as a result of people on Twitter RTing. I need to use Twitter more often, so maybe I can write a marketing series for Twitter similar to my Facebook and Marketing series. Basically, you put the link in the bit.ly box and it'll shorten the link for you. Promote said shortened link in all the normal places you usually promote links and then go back to the page and click the 'information' part next to the shortened link. It'll show you a bar graph and the circle graphs above, unless you didn't have any hits at all (sadly, this has happened to me a number of times). I'd recommend joining the site for free so it can collect all the links you shorten with bit.ly. What are some services you use for keeping up with your site's stats?

On a Personal Note

This, sadly, will not be the year I finally win Nanowrimo. As much as I'm ashamed to admit it, way too many other things are competing for all of my time, so I'll have to back out. December is actually more ideal for me to write a book in a month. Also, can't forget the two songs I've had on infinitelooper lately!

On the first day of November, I opened Microsoft Word only to realize that I had a 7-page paper to write and then work for the last 5 hours of the day. As thus, my first day of Nanowrimo was spent getting thousands of words for school and maybe ten words for my story before I crashed of exhaustion and went to sleep.

The days after that jumped between those types of schedules. It's the 6th day of November, and I only have about 700 words toward my book. It's 700 words I really like and 700 words I'm eager to add more to, but that's a meager number to be nearly done with the first week of November. Right after I finish this blog post, I have an analysis paper to write and then a book review to write. I know for sure that I'm gonna want to take a Buffy break too.

If I'm lucky, it won't be well past ten by then and I can get back to writing again. I left Joachim in a nightmare realm. The floor is about to cave in, and he'll finally find the dreamer he needs to rescue. I'm very excited for all of this. Though I won't be turning to Savior of the Damned again for a couple more months, I left Alecia in her room waiting for a dinner that will destroy her life. She'll meet the Big Bad, or Samuel.

I love the differences and similarities between the Insomnium series (Dream Catcher) and the Danse Macabre series (Savior of the Damned). It's good to write something a little different each time, test your writing and imagination:

• Setting: The characters in Dream Catcher live in an actual city (Evanston, Illinois), work at real places, and go to a real college (Northwestern). All the settings in Savior of the Damned, from the city to the schools to the stores, are made up. However, it is based off of Blue Island, Illinois and the surrounding suburbs I grew up with.
• Characters: Apart from Joachim being a rogue dream catcher and Lottie being a witch, the characters are pretty normal, in that they have some contact with friends and family and no really large mental issues. They want to find a lover, make a future for themselves outside of their supernatural abilities. The vast majority of characters in SotD are supernatural creatures with different cultures of their own, and Alecia is already a damaged shell of a human when the story starts.
• Death Count: Lots and lots of characters will die by the end of Danse Macabre. It's a really long series, between 8-20 books, and there will be many wars and large battles and world altering moments. Most of the action in the Insomnium series takes place in nightmares and most trained dream catchers never die in nightmares.
• Romance: I'm harsher with romance in Danse Macabre than I am with Insomnium, but Danse Macabre is also darker.
• Conflict: Danse Macabre has actual villains to be fought against. There are Big Bad's in each book and Small Bad's littered along the way to make it harder. Though there is also personal conflict, it has a tendency to end up closely intermingling with the overall conflict of the story. The conflict in Insomnium involves how hard a nightmare is. There is no tangible Big Bad. Perhaps in later books there might be inner conflict, but it wouldn't be on the level of inner and outer conflict in Danse Macabre.

On another note, music I've been addicted to lately:

I read a lot of writing blogs (like dozens a week). Nanowrimo, which has been going on for a good decade, is the key topic of choice right now. The literary madness starts in two days, and I'll definitely be joining the party. I've noticed that a lot of people, including me the first two times I tried, didn't manage to survive...as in, they didn't make it to 50,000 words.

According to Google, there's about 1,330,000 posts about how to survive Nanowrimo, but there's not really any posts on ways NOT to survive.

Why not? D: This is a sad, sad thing.

What better way to learn about how to survive than learning about the many ways people haven't? Plus, come on, it's really amusing.

Here's my list, from experience and observation, of ways to NOT survive, in the hopes that you take something away from it. Also, they are in no particular order of importance:

• Get Super Addicted to Addictive Blogs: Yknow, blogs like Hyperbole and a Half. I went to the blog right now solely to get the link, and I ended up spending five minutes reading a blog post and smiling like an idiot. It felt like 2 seconds. There goes a whole sentence you could be writing for your Nano masterpiece.
• Have an Emotional Breakdown and Fall Into a Deep, Dark Depression: Those can easily last the whole month. Before you know it, it's December 1st and only 1000 words have been written, and the depression worsens. See, emotional breakdowns probably can't be put aside, but try I tell you!
• Become a NanoForum Supastar: The nano forum is made of literary awesomesauce and inhabited by fun, amusing writers. You'll be surprised at how easy it is to spend the whole month posting everywhere. The good part? You end up writing 50,000 words. The bad part? Those are 50,000 words that didn't go toward your Nano masterpiece.
• Come in With No Plan Whatsoever: I think this is the most important. Some will argue that this is a matter of preference. It's fun, to a certain extent, to start a full novel with no development beside the title and a very vague idea of what the hell the story will be about. But this is what'll usually happen unless you're different and special - story will be even more nonsensical than it ought to be; story will, in fact, make no damn sense whatsoever in terms of plot advancement; editing will be even more terrifying than it ought to be. In fact, it may take you 50,000 days to figure out everything. Just maybe knowing who your characters are and what the beginning, middle, and end consist of would be a great help.
• Procrastinate: Nanowrimo and procrastination go together as good as a cat and a swimming contest. Life will still happen, but you've gotta find some way to schedule around life. That is all.

What'd I leave out? What are some ways you know of how to not survive Nanowrimo?

I'm an observer. Klout says so, and I know so. I watch Facebook and blogs and my e-mail all the time. That's how I know that Amanda Hocking's book Switched is one of the four most requested books on the Library-Thing's early reviewers program; that's how I know that the cover for Michelle Davidson Argyle's book, The Breakaway, has just been revealed; It's how I know that Tiffany White is building her publishing portfolio and her hard work, as proven by the fact that three of her stories have been published, is finally paying off; and it's also how I know that J.S. Chancellor is back on her writing cycle with an admirable, inspirational fervor. There's probably also a lot more I'm aware of. Hell, I could send a weekly newsletter gathering all the info I pick up when browsing the web.

As a person whose life is for serious based around the writing world, it's important I observe and keep track of what's going on. To improve my writing, editing, and coaching, I need to know what's happening. Still, there needs to be a limit to all this observing. What happens is that you read about all these OTHER people getting their success that they've worked hard for and will continue to work hard for, and you start to live vicariously through their lives. In spite of all the goals you may have set for yourself, in spite of all you want to do, observing makes it easy for you to slowly but surely put your own goals behind you.

Also, it feuls that dreadful voice all us writers have that tell us we're not good enough and will never be good enough. You start to think, "Damn, I could never reach that point."

Observing all these success stories is good and inspiring, but you have to be willing to get out there and make your own success. Or else it'll pass you by and you'll be saying, "Damn, I could never reach that point" forever.

Any measures you could take now to assure that doesn't happen to you?

So, today has consisted of breakfast, a movie, class, a meeting, lunch, and blogging (which I'm doing now). After blogging, there'll be another class, a guest lecture, a phone call, and then research. I'll probably be up until around 2 am doing research. Nanowrimo is in 5 days, I have two papers due, and I still feel like there is a lot I need to know about dream catchers, witchcraft, and downtown Chicago.

See, this is why I love the internet. So far, I've learned that Joachim and Lottie live in Evanston, Illinois. Joachim will go to Northwestern University and work in some restaurant there. Lottie won't be a college student, but she will be working at Amaranth - a used book store in Evanston. I know exactly what apartment they will live in (I searched for apartments for sale there) and what it looks like when empty. I'm still trying to understand Northwestern's curriculum, but I can easily find that out with just a little bit of site searching and put a makeshift schedule for Joachim together.

I also found some cool sites for interpreting dreams and nightmares. The first chapter starts off with Joachim in someone else's dream. I'm eager to start outlining said chapter, but I can't...I need to have all the dreams I plan to use in Dream Catcher already written out. Preferably, I'd like them to symbolize things. I want Joachim to not only cure nightmares by rescuing people, but also by interpreting them. First, though, I have to become really good at interpreting dreams. I don't think it'll happen in the next five days, though. I can only spend so much time on research. I need to spend more time writing a general chapter guide to get me and the characters exactly where I need them.

As for witchcraft, I just need to know what the different kinds are and if one better fits certain type of people.

On another note, I've watched three movies in the past few days: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, The Adjustment Bureau, and Almost Famous. They were all good in their own right. I'm a critic of books, but not so much movies. I always get much too into any movie even remotely good. Anyway, I think it's important that I've been overdosing on movies lately. I firmly believe that it's a good thing for an author to surround themselves with lots of entertainment, definitely of varying kinds. It really complements the muse.

Recently, I've been doing a lot of reading. Unfortunately, not of books (Though I did buy 5 awesome books at the Dollar Tree, 4 of which are nonfiction. I've noticed lately that I tend to read more nonfictions on my own time and more fiction only for reviews). Anyway, it's been of blogs. I look at a blog like I do a book. Whenever an author reaches some type of success, which is usually just getting published in my mind, I go back to their very first blog post and read up all the way until the recent post.

It's occurred to me that may be a little creepy. Not that I mind. I'm a supernatural/psychological horror writer. Or at least I'd like to think I could downpack the psychological horror part.

Neil Gaiman was the first person I ever did this with...or at least attempted to. I started when I was 13. But his blog has been going for more than a decade. Now I'm big into Amanda Hocking's blog. Her posts really make me laugh, nod my head, and rethink my creative process.

For one, I've noticed that a lot of aspiring writers tend to make a habit out of posting every day or every other day, and it's published writers who blog a bit more sporadically. I have my theories on this, but they're not too developed. Anyway, I would LOVE to post here every day or every other day. Generally, I just don't have the time. The only reason I do now is because today has been an entire day of chilling, for the most part.

But, if this whole college fiasco goes the way I want it to, I will soon have plenty of time. I will utilize the hell out of that time too by blogging and writing.

Speaking of, here's what Amanda has taught me as far as rethinking my creative process goes. I need to write lots of things. I have only finished one (hopefully) publishable novel in my entire life, and that's the novel I'm still working on and have been working on for five or so years. For some reason, I am nervous about short stories, even though I very much plan to write a short story collection one day and self publish it. I envy Amanda's ability to write a full novel in the span of a month, sometimes just in the span of half a month, and work on other projects meanwhile.

Unfortunately, I no longer keep an idea booklet. I don't really remember what other novels I wanted to write, what short stories I want to dabble into, and that's sad. It's cool to be super motivated to a series. My Savior of the Damned trilogy and the later books in the Danse Macabre series are ambitious and in need of lots of concentration, true.

But what if I do work on other things as well? I'm really excited about this! I have an empty composition book in my drawer. That will become my new idea booklet. It's a promise to myself.

I'm not back from any where in particular. Right now, I'm at my desk in my dorm room. As a writer/reader/blogger/reviewer/editor, I'm back.

Yesterday, I put up a new blog post at Triple R: Read, Rate, Review that lists a number of helpful links and writing resources. It hasn't gotten any views, I don't think, and there are no comments. I won't let this get me down. I've been gone for a while, wrapped up in this new college and job and steady relationship lifestyle. My online platform has probably suffered for it. But maybe, just maybe, when my devotion becomes clear again, it'll pick back up.

I just want people to read and benefit. That's why I write, review, and critique. That's why I'm in this business (and I am actually in this as a business. I have a business checking account registered as a sole proprietorship and a composition book for account/site details and everything). I'll provide more on 'Honest Crits' when the site is finally up and running. The layout and coding is there. It is actually live online, but I'm not providing anyone (but my boyfriend) with the link just yet. I need to fill in the content.

Anyway, what makes me boldly declare myself back again? The blog post mentioned earlier, for one. Also that I'll be done critiquing a novel, the first one someone requested I critique for them where money is involved, on September 12th. I'm sure I'll be done by that due date. I have about 20ish more pages to critique. I've also finished reading Sacrifice by Dakota Banks. After this blog post, I'll be outlining the review and preparing its promotional plan. I hope I can still do it correctly! It's been so long, sadly. Also, I've been thinking a lot about my novel and my boyfriend's novel. The passion is coming back. I just need to schedule in writing time again, and I'm set.

As for my first week as a true college student and part-time worker, I'd have to say it went really well. Haven't been late anywhere, though I've gotten pretty damn close to being late for a class or two. Homework is still easy. Math, though, is the BANE of my existance. I am not being dramatic. I'm in the lowest math class and failing soooo hard, it has made me cry. Finances are also a bit scary. Scholarships and grants are my keys to staying here, and if I don't keep my track record high, I'll have to drop out. D: Stress and pressure? Hell to the yeah.

"Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It's quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn't at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that's where you will find success."
- Thomas J. Watson

I'm one of those people who thrive off of goals and to-do lists, off of any steps that bring me a little bit closer (or a lot closer) to my main goals. As a writer, it's the same. I apply a bunch of scenes and side quests that will bring my main character to the point of the story, the main plot. When I'm not applying myself to my limits, I get lost and worried. I feel like I'm falling far behind. In a sense, being goal-oriented is my way of fighting depression and anxiety and unease. I need to feel like I have a place in this world, however small that be. I need purpose.

Basically, I fight for success. My idea of success is a mixture of conventional ideals of success and my ideas. Before I die, I want to be a published author; I want to have a website or two capable of income with committed followers; I want to enter into many writing contests and actually win some of them; I want to get a Ph.D.; I've even grown into liking the idea of having a husband and a family at some point.
But fighting for success can be really overwhelming, and when there's a setback, boy does it really set me back. I have to take a considerable amount of time silencing all of the negative thoughts in my brain, telling myself loads of positive things.

So, what's the setback? Do you remember that playwriting contest I blogged about and when I said I won that? Well, I just got a message today from them saying I DIDN'T win. I've asked about it, but I'm certain it wasn't a mistake and that I really didn't win.

Sure, I'm only 18 and I can enter in many other contests, but the knowledge that I was a semi-finalist in the Ypip contest is what renewed my desire to pursue script and playwriting! I was really looking forward to the opportunity to travel to Indianopolis with my best friend and watch my first play get performed, but now that opportunity has been randomly snatched from under me.

It's saddening, but I know I can't waste time being saddened. To reassure myself that this doesn't make all of my writing endeavours a failure, I had to vow to try harder, to really get ahead in the writing world.

One day, you know; one day!

In a previous post, I said that I would explain how I go about reviewing for Suspense Magazine. Well, I keep my word (even if it takes me ages to get back to the word that I kept). But, before that, I'd like to touch on the short story idea that's been brewing in my brain since last night two days ago.

Yes, the genre will be horror; no, I have not written anything down yet. lol. This stems from my fear of writing short stories.

The idea started because there is something odd and dark above my window, and I hadn't noticed it until two days ago. I started to ask myself all types of questions: What is it, exactly? Why did it start above my window? What if the dark stuff started claiming the room until it claimed the whole room? What if only I could see the dark stuff growing?

When I have the time, or whenever I make the time, I have a wonderful premise and vague set of plans. However, I've also accomplished making myself terrified of this room. Of course, the dark stuff hasn't grown, but I also can't get it off, and my eye always finds it. I still don't know what it is!

Now, about my process of reviewing for Suspense Mag. I have a big box of books that the editor has chosen, based on my preferences, to read and review. So far, I've reviewed about 5 books. Within the first 20 pages of a novel, no matter how big the novel is, I already have the whole review planned out and mostly written. When I actually finish the book, all I have to do is go back to the review and add in some stuff here and there.

How?

First off, a Suspense Magazine review is NOTHING like a Wall Street Journal review. Suspense Mag publishes reviews of a lot of books each issue (as well as movies). Because of that, the reviews are asked to be 3-4 paragraphs. There is not a set formulaic format, but this is the set formulaic format I follow:

1st paragraph: Always come up with a hook. Often, the hook corresponds directly to the story's start, but not always. As long as it's catchy and relevant, I use it.

2nd paragraph: Summarize the beginning of the book until it gets to the Big Question of the novel, which will undoubtedly show up within the first 20 pages. Don't say much past the Big Question. I want to make the readers excited to know what's next -- not spoil the plot.

3rd paragraph: I give my opinion of the story as a whole. I try to keep it nice. Even if I don't like the story, I keep two things in mind: 1.) Someone else is prone to like it; 2.) I don't want authors to hate me. lol. Generally, if there's something I don't like and can't get over, I just nicely mention it.

4th: Bring the Big Question back again, usually as a standalone sentence. Or bring forth something good or unique about the novel (The examples are actually from my reviews). Can you keep up with the God of Clocks?/ Now it's up to Madison. Can she help the real vampires stop the wannabees?/ This tale is as much about loss as it is about Mo and Andrea, his wife, reminding Frank that there is as much to look forward to as there is to look back at./ In a time where vampire books are all over the place, Wolf's Cross is not only a refreshing break, but an intriguing view of the werewolves' world.

Even though I can finish most of a review early on in the story, I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS finish the novel and really take it in. I feel it would be disrespectful to the author and Suspense Mag if I didn't.

Well, this blog post is already too long. Thanks for reading!

Maybe it's because I'm a horror junkie, and I surround myself with horror, but these past few days have felt like a battle between my fears and my sanity. Not that there's anything wrong or unusual about that. I feel like fear is important to the human species. In my opinion, almost everything is a matter of balance.

Outside of writing, what keeps me running is money and relationships. I owe the library 45 dollars. I didn't have enough money to pay at first, but now I DEFINITELY don't have enough. I looked in my purse and found that I only had five dollars left. Either I blanked out and forgot where I put my money, or someone went in my purse and took it. I'm quite certain it was stolen, though. And my fears with relationships is a loooong story in itself, one that I don't think you will really care to hear about. In all, I feel romantically inept, and a little bit socially inept.

But this blog isn't about me, per se. It's about writing. Before I get into my fears with SotD, I'd like to highlight this beautiful trailer for Suspense Mag. One of these days, I hope to have an emotional and well done trailer like this for my novel:

I don't know how to make the video show here yet, so here is a link. Watch and enjoy!

People will hate it:

I know all about target audiences. I know that everyone will not like my work, no matter how good it is, because we all have different preferences. Still, my fear is that NO ONE will like it. My fear is that everyone will look upon it with disdain. They will think my writing style is undeveloped and crappy. They will laugh at my plot -- the very plot I have lovingly and thoroughly developed for five years. I know this fear is irrational. I put the first two drafts of SotD on Fictionpress, and it was recieved very well by some people. Still, the fear persists.

My family won't support it:

I don't want to make a big deal out of writing something my whole family will enjoy for the same reason why I don't make a big deal out of everyone in the world liking my story. It can't be done. I'm just afraid that my family will...shun me for some of the content. SotD can be pretty dark, explicit, and gothic at times. There are quite a few religious people in my family who I know, for sure, will look down on it. My family loves me, and I love them, but I've always wondered: How do author's cope when family doesn't accept their stuff?

It won't sell:

Yes, I write because it is a passion. Yes, I write because I feel as though it is the one thing I do the best, the one thing I can never stop doing. I know that a writer should never look at the profession as a means of putting food on the table, definitely in the beginning stages. But writers get published to be read, and what's the point of getting published if no one reads or buys your stuff? This also ties in to the fear that the supernatural genre will die out before I get published. (I talk about that here.).

I think my fears are very normal for an aspiring writer, definitely for an aspiring hormonally-confused-teenage-female writer. Don't get me wrong. I have faith in my writing. I honestly have more confidence that I can become better at writing than I have in any other aspect of my life. I'm not confident that I can become smarter, prettier, more well known, but I AM confident that I can improve my writing.

What are some of your fears, both with writing and outside of it?

Wow. 9:15 on a weekday is pretty late for me to be blogging, but that's because my day got unorganized when I went to the library to print out my 250 page novel, clicked print twice by mistake, and ended up owing the public library $45 I can't give back any time soon. Not only don't I have a tangible copy of the novel to give to my best friend to edit, but I am also experiencing debt for the first time.

I don't like it. lol.

Today's blog won't really have an overall topic. Instead, I'm just gonna list the things I am and am not accomplishing. I like the idea that my life is a series of checklists. Whenever I mentally or phsyically check a goal off of my long list, I feel a little better on the inside.

Caleb's Teen Writer Site: Caleb is an author who also devotes his precious time to "Refining Teen Writers and Readers Into Rock Stars." I was very excited the first time I found out about this on Facebook. A couple of minutes ago, I sent an interview and a 254 word snippet of my story to him. I hope it is recieved well! Whenever I can find enough time to stop and chill, I'll post all over his site. I'm 18. I'll only be a teen for so long, so I need to take advantange of such wonderful opportunities while I still can.

Suspense Mag: On October 3rd, I submitted my review of "Murder in Vein" by Sue Ann Jaffarian to the editor. It was an amazingly good book. I finished it within 6 hours, which is record time for someone as busy and time locked as me. Next I'll be reviewing "The Law of Nines" by Terry Goodkind when I finish reading this book by Ron Suskind (That's not a Suspense Mag book). So far, I've reviewed four books. I have five more to go before I'm finished with this box. Reviewing is pretty formulaic and fun! I'll blog about it one of these days.

Creative Writing Class: For my first free online creative writing course, I am taking lessons from The University of Utah's Introduction to Creative Writing. (To see the course assignments, you'll have to click 'Other User' and 'Login as Guest.'). Anyway, I wrote down notes from the Syllabus and...that's about it. lol. This I can NOT check off of my checklist. Because yesterday I needed a break, and today I got home two hours late, I didn't have enough time to do an assignment there. Definitely tomorrow, though.