Tiffany Rambles

"Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It's quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn't at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that's where you will find success."
- Thomas J. Watson

I'm one of those people who thrive off of goals and to-do lists, off of any steps that bring me a little bit closer (or a lot closer) to my main goals. As a writer, it's the same. I apply a bunch of scenes and side quests that will bring my main character to the point of the story, the main plot. When I'm not applying myself to my limits, I get lost and worried. I feel like I'm falling far behind. In a sense, being goal-oriented is my way of fighting depression and anxiety and unease. I need to feel like I have a place in this world, however small that be. I need purpose.

Basically, I fight for success. My idea of success is a mixture of conventional ideals of success and my ideas. Before I die, I want to be a published author; I want to have a website or two capable of income with committed followers; I want to enter into many writing contests and actually win some of them; I want to get a Ph.D.; I've even grown into liking the idea of having a husband and a family at some point.
But fighting for success can be really overwhelming, and when there's a setback, boy does it really set me back. I have to take a considerable amount of time silencing all of the negative thoughts in my brain, telling myself loads of positive things.

So, what's the setback? Do you remember that playwriting contest I blogged about and when I said I won that? Well, I just got a message today from them saying I DIDN'T win. I've asked about it, but I'm certain it wasn't a mistake and that I really didn't win.

Sure, I'm only 18 and I can enter in many other contests, but the knowledge that I was a semi-finalist in the Ypip contest is what renewed my desire to pursue script and playwriting! I was really looking forward to the opportunity to travel to Indianopolis with my best friend and watch my first play get performed, but now that opportunity has been randomly snatched from under me.

It's saddening, but I know I can't waste time being saddened. To reassure myself that this doesn't make all of my writing endeavours a failure, I had to vow to try harder, to really get ahead in the writing world.

One day, you know; one day!

So, because I'm a competitor in the Academic Decathlon, and I haven't been practicing as well as I should have, these next four days will be dedicated solely to practicing. The competition is THIS saturday, and I'm yet to remember my speech or read the book.

The big question: Can I survive this challenge or I will I fall prey to my growing sickness (sore throat, stomach cramps) by then and drop dead?

Now, I'll still update my blogs. On Thursday I'll be posting at Triple R, but it'll be a short post. Most likely talking about what I have planned as far as the book giveaway and guest appearances (two authors, a publisher, and an aspiring scriptwriter already said yes!). I was gonna blog about how I should strike the 'perfect' balance with my blog, but that will take a little more time than I have now. In fifteen minutes, my first day of intensive studying begins.

What's going on with me?

Well, if you know me on Facebook, you're already aware of this, but remember when I blogged about participating in the IRT Young Playwriting contest. Guess what? I won! Me and my best friend won, actually. However, the big issue is getting there. Who will drive? Will the playwriting people who are giving Caitlin and I housing allow the driver to spend the night? Caitlin and I have until February to figure this all out.

Also, also, I may soon be a contributor for The Best Damn Creative Writing Blog! I admire their blog very much, and even if I don't end up getting a paying position -- which is most likely the case -- I'll love contributing. Plus, it'll help me meet many more helpful people in the writing world.

If I've befriended you on Facebook, you already know that I've finished my play. I've put up about three stats about it, all phrased differently but saying the same thing. I've also already blogged about it.

After this, my general writing focus will go back to scholarships. I got into IUB! Now I have to worry about paying for it. :(

Anyway, back to the play. It's about an overachieving perfectionist who doesn't question anything about her life until a runaway named Wyatt asks her to. It's 20 pages on paper, so it'll be about 17-18 pages when I type it up. I'm thinking about calling it "Bottle Empty," Since Wyatt compares her to an empty bottle just waiting to be filled up.

Yes, the play takes a lot from my life. At one point, I faced that problem myself. There was this feeling that I did everything for others and very little for myself. It's not to the extreme that Christine's symptoms are, but I always exaggerate or understate issues in my writing, definitely if said issues pertain/once pertained/will pertain to me.

So, that's all! See you thursday, if I still have internet access.

Usually, on Tuesdays, I don't have anything in particular to blog about because I've been focused more on SotD (which is going along VERY well) than on any writing projects outside of it. I actually do have something now.

Surprise, surprise! I'm entering into a playwriting contest.

In the 8th grade, I attempted to write a small script. I vaguely remember abandoning the idea a quarter of the way through. So, with that in mind, I don't know why I jumped to compete in a creative form I know so little about. Sure, my best friend is an actress, and I talk to the actors in the APA (Academy of Performing Arts), and I've had theatre class. Still, I never paid attention to the actual play format. Yesterday, I did some research on the format. Today I started writing the play.

If I hadn't spent two hours on a fifty question homework assignment, I could have finished scene 1 at least.

The play doesn't have a name yet. I'm thinking about calling it Wanderer, though. The story is about Christine, a perfectionist who lives her life solely the way society wants her to, and a homeless wanderer named Wyatt who wants her to understand just how much of an empty shell she really is.

This is a stark contrast to the novel I've been writing for five years, where Alecia (the FMC) is an ex-junkie prostitute who needs to cope with being framed as a serial killer and her title as the powerful Savior of the Damned.

Wish me luck! :D

I seriously almost forgot that I had to blog today. I sat at my computer for five minutes after watching a particularly intense episode of Monster and thought to myself, "Wow; I'm bored. Aren't I supposed to be doing something important today...OH YEAH!"

I have been making wonderful improvements to Savior of the Damned. At first I had a hard time planning out my newest chapter, Officer Clayton. I knew nothing about cops and paramedics, and my first draft chapter summary consisted of vague sentences like, "She ripped the cord thingy out of her arm." So I asked for help, and my friend Maria and author friend Breanna came to the rescue. Maria's paramedic stepdad answered my questions the same day I sent them to Maria. I still await the assistance of Breanne's cop husband, but I can write the chapter and add his input later.

Another reason why I have been motivated to make wonderful improvements is Caleb Jennings. I've been spending a very innovative couple of days at his site. Below I list the things that I participated in:

• Writing Place contest: This probably should have gone in tuesday's blog post, but it didn't cross my mind. I am Entry 2. Though I didn't win, I still got a good number of votes. My writing isn't so bad!
• Vlog: Caleb posted a video blog about me and my entry. He did a good amount of talking about dark stories, and he said some very interesting stuff.
• Interview and Excerpt: This was, by far, the absolute best and scariest part of being featured on Caleb's site. Caleb posted an interview with me, a 300 word excerpt of my choosing, and a reading of the excerpt. The members of the site also had the opportunity to state their opinions on my entry. The discussion that went on down there in the comments, about voice and dialogue tags and description especially, was very enlightening!
• Audio Edit: I really loved what he had to say, namely because he didn't feel the need to edit alot. lol.

And that's all for today!