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First off, why am I blogging so late? Well, I've just finished reading 'Postcards from the Apocalypse' by Allan Leverone! I spent 10 hours, I kid you not, reading this collection and taking notes for the review that will be up on Monday. It was a wonderful ten hours, though. I don't regret it in the least. If I didn't love reading, reviewing, and promoting, I wouldn't have started Triple R. Fortunately, Allan is a wonderful person to work with. Him saying this really made me remember why I review: "I have to say you do a great job! Thanks for all your hard work..."Now, about that all nighter. Sadly it wasn't an all nighter. I stayed up until 3 am before turning my computer off and climbing into bed. During those 5 or so hours, I ended up scrapping chapter 6, changing around some sentences in chapter 5, and coming up with ideas to deal with this change in part 2. In all, I felt it was hugely unsuccessful. When I shared my disappointment with my boyfriend, he pointed out that I was also a stressed teen living hundreds of miles from home, trying to work in a place I didn't exactly find comfortable, and that I may have been hungry and tired.
Then I cut myself a little slack. Every time I pulled an all nighter in the past, I had privacy, plenty of food/junk, and lots of music. This time around, I couldn't eat or turn on music or read aloud because my room mate was asleep and had an exam the next day. How could I possibly expect for a writerly all nighter to work with no music, no food, and no freedom to be spontaneously weird at 3 am? Also, how in the hell did I manage to convince myself that failing to pull this all nighter off meant I wasn't a real writer?
Honestly, part of me is amazed at Amanda Hocking's ability to write full novels in under a month. I so so so badly want to be able to do this! One time, I wrote 14,000 words or so in two days, where I pulled two all nighters. I'd never been happier (and more sleepy and deranged) in my life. I don't think everyone writes the same. Maybe I'm just not a speed writer. But damn it, I want to be, and I'm gonna keep trying.
Another thing. Somehow, someway, my long break in writing has managed to make me almost afraid to write certain scenes. Like when I know how long and hard and description heavy a chapter has to be, I feel this odd sense of dread I'm not used to. What? Where is this coming from?
Maybe it's because I'm wearing too many hats. I write books, discuss books, review books, promote books, and edit books. I don't know what's wrong, but it needs to go away.
Honestly, I know very few authors who write novels as quickly as Amanda Hocking. I want to write quickly, too. I'm working my way up to it, but I have a feeling it will be a lifelong pursuit, or at least take up most of my thirties. :)
Anyway, I hear you about all the hats. I honestly think book reviewing and being a writer is a bit of a conflict that would cause a lot of turmoil inside myself, but that doesn't mean others can't pull it off. You do have a lot going on. Just remember to take it easy on yourself, please. I need this reminder a lot, as well. :)
Yeah, in one night, if I'm lucky, I can finish an entire chapter and half of another one. My writing does become a little faster (and a lot more nonsensical when I read it back to myself) when I have more time to write. These days I've just been staying up at night. In the mornings, I check e-mails and go to meetings and go to class and make phone calls. Jeez, there are SO many phone calls. I don't really have time to write. But at night, it gets a little better.
I'd actually like to write an article one day about the pros and cons of being both. I think it would be an interesting post peopel would read. I'll try to remember this. ^_^ It's a little harder at the moment because I feel like there's a lot of pressure on me to 'prove myself' right now.